Hiya :) I shouldn't be on this right now...I'm supposed to be studying hardcore for chemistry...but oh well :)
So didn't mean to...but this is another downer post. Just is.
You know...I was just thinking, we take so much for granted sometimes. Well I don't know about others. But I do. Just like friends, guys, family, the privileges, the rights, the freedom...just so much.
Umm, I don't know how else to say this, but I'm a pretty lonely person. (just in case you haven't figured that out)
So I'm about to just pour out everything...cause I don't really have anywhere. I don't wanna sound emotional..it's just..some things.
It's another one of them frank ocean days. but its happening more than usual.
-My chemistry teacher. anyone who reads this might not get it right off the bat; but I just wanna spill. thats all. if some of you guys have tried stoichiometry, there are essentially 2 ways to do it. one is the normal dimensional analysis, the other is a cool new table method which I saw on youtube. I liked it...loved it, it made complete sense to me. and I could find limiting reactant...all that...like that.
my teacher. she's great. but she's always really....excited...like jumpy. never really calm and serene. and that's not a bad thing. She'll call on you randomly, and if you don't know it...to prevent yourself from looking dumb, you will encourage yourself to study hard at home to get questions right. that's good :)
but today. my lord. we got our lab notebooks back. everyone was up, getting theirs...it was really quiet though..not too much noise except the rustling of people getting their books. She calls me up, and kind of screams in my face over how my work doesn't make sense. That was okay...but why shoving the journal in my face saying "this doesn't make sense" in front of the whole class?
the worst thing, is that I asked her if it was okay before. She said "sure...as long as I know what you're doing...just explain your work". I was relieved...I loved the new method. and now she does this. and I even showed my work, explaining where I got everything.
god damn. you couldn't like call me after class and say this to me? why in front of the whole damn class?
anyways. my bad. just needed to spill out all this bullshit. now I have to get a new lab notebook, and do it all over again. yay. can't wait to go to class again.
anyways, its fine. she's actually good...she's one of them teachers that pushes you to do your best. so even though she's all this now...in the end, hopefully she'll teach us eerryyythingg and help me out when i need it most.
-people are just mean. that's all. we worked in groups the other day in history...and I sit by myself in the back (that's how she assigned us). and there are two other girls that sit next to me. so basically, all the rows are filled up, except there are 3 tables in the last row...and 3 girls sit in each, different one (1 per table).
we were told to work in 3. and the people who sat in front of the other girls' turned around and worked with them. except the people in front of me. they just worked together...fuck. it was like I wasn't even alive. fuckidy fuck. fuck.
-i've been thinkin bout you. real bad. I miss last year. the school, the people. so fucking bad. so bad. the vibe, the feeling. it was just so right. here...here, it feels like boarding school. and at the moment, i took all of that granted. blah. look where I am now. im desperate to get it all back. i wish i could.
my bad about being...so...ughh. I know a lot of you guys have WAYYY more drama and bullshit in your lives, and this is nada compared to yours. I'm just...missing everything now...just didn't have anybody to really talk to. i did...but you know...they judge you...blah. blah. blah. anyways, take care.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Just sayin HI :) and more...
Heey :) or Hii :)
How are you guys? Hope your doing well :)
Um, so it's already September 21...and well it's a couple till October starts rolling in.
Man..I can't wait till fall is OFFICIALLY here. You know, the hot choco, autumn leaves, pumpkin pie, the warm cozy sweatshirts, boots...man, I can't wait.
And bath and body works BEST collection comes out now...all the pretty, warm , cozy scents. (I don't really like the holidays ones...they smell too...sugary..for some reason)
If you wanna get a nice feel right now....listen to THINKIN ABOUT YOU by FRANK OCEAN.
It's a really good beat I like..it's just soft, simple, just..real for some reason. Man...frank ocean's one of the freshest artists out there...his music's real for some reason. And I'm not thinkin about anyone...not messing around with love and all that this time...I just love the tune..calms ya downn :) P.S. listen to swim good by frank ocean..that one's amazing too :)
-We're having fish today.
yall like fish? most of you guys probably don't...but I was born around the sea areaish..so we're always had a thing for fish. but my momma's making some fish for dinner :) yay
-I'm failing.
I have a 61 F in ap chemistry. the shit is killing me. real bad. Some of it is just..so..confusing. matter fact, most of it is. But anyways, enough ranting...I guess you just gotta say to follow through...if I pass..this is the last year I gotta deal with chemistry. my god.....pleaseeee
"If your failing, go study!"
I'm trying. This whole week has been chem test week. It's finally a chill day for once...I'm trying to calm down...ya know? that's why i'm listening to frank ocean.
-I still miss my old school.
so much. so much that's it's not even expressible for words. I miss it. that's all.
-I'm done trippin.
This year...this year, no more tripping over guys. Not this time. I hate how you waste so much time on a guy...and you get nothing out of it. no more...just tryin to get my GPA up..
Umm...what else? I love you <3 I just do. that's it for today. nothing else.
umm and every picture was obviously from the picture. nada is mine.
just a couple pretty pictures...
How are you guys? Hope your doing well :)
Um, so it's already September 21...and well it's a couple till October starts rolling in.
Man..I can't wait till fall is OFFICIALLY here. You know, the hot choco, autumn leaves, pumpkin pie, the warm cozy sweatshirts, boots...man, I can't wait.
And bath and body works BEST collection comes out now...all the pretty, warm , cozy scents. (I don't really like the holidays ones...they smell too...sugary..for some reason)
If you wanna get a nice feel right now....listen to THINKIN ABOUT YOU by FRANK OCEAN.
It's a really good beat I like..it's just soft, simple, just..real for some reason. Man...frank ocean's one of the freshest artists out there...his music's real for some reason. And I'm not thinkin about anyone...not messing around with love and all that this time...I just love the tune..calms ya downn :) P.S. listen to swim good by frank ocean..that one's amazing too :)
-We're having fish today.
yall like fish? most of you guys probably don't...but I was born around the sea areaish..so we're always had a thing for fish. but my momma's making some fish for dinner :) yay
-I'm failing.
I have a 61 F in ap chemistry. the shit is killing me. real bad. Some of it is just..so..confusing. matter fact, most of it is. But anyways, enough ranting...I guess you just gotta say to follow through...if I pass..this is the last year I gotta deal with chemistry. my god.....pleaseeee
"If your failing, go study!"
I'm trying. This whole week has been chem test week. It's finally a chill day for once...I'm trying to calm down...ya know? that's why i'm listening to frank ocean.
-I still miss my old school.
so much. so much that's it's not even expressible for words. I miss it. that's all.
-I'm done trippin.
This year...this year, no more tripping over guys. Not this time. I hate how you waste so much time on a guy...and you get nothing out of it. no more...just tryin to get my GPA up..
Umm...what else? I love you <3 I just do. that's it for today. nothing else.
umm and every picture was obviously from the picture. nada is mine.
just a couple pretty pictures...
Sunday, September 2, 2012
I miss my OLD school...
So who gives a fuck right? Well...if some of you guys continue to read on...then thankk yaa :)
Anyways, I miss my old school. so so so so so so so SO. MUCH. Spend some time in this school, and I fuckingggg hateee it. I tried to get kinda used to it...but for the time being...heeelllll noo.
And I know that this is gonna sound like one of those "regular stupid rants"...but man, I have so many feels about my old school now. It's crazy cause, you never know how amazing something (or someone) is, until it's (or they're) gone.
damn. To get to the point, here are some reasons why I'm not in love with my school.
-the complicated schedule.
Why can't you just do NORMAL block scheduling? "No we gotta be unique". It's all this weird stuff...and I mean, I've gone to high school from high school...and I swear this is hard as it gets. but it's okay I guess...I'll probably get used to it.
-the gymnasium.
oh the fun times in gym. all the pranks, flirting, jokes, checking out all the hot guys working out. Our gym last year was so vibrant. It had windows (up above) so the nice warmth of the sunlight would sparkle on the gym floor. and it was really big...and it was just...such a good feeling.
the gym at the new school is bogus. no color, no "life" , and it just seems boring. it's a little smaller...and it just doesn't feel right. errr. and I hate my teacher. luck for me, on top of that, she's pregnant this year. imagine.
-the girls.
I personally think you can tell a lot about a school just by the way the majority of the way the girls dress. Not the guys. Most guys will just put on whatever. in every school, there's the "status craving" guy who goes nuts over polos and nike; and there are others who come in wearing the same hoodie and jeans. but the girls. here, a lot of girls look kind of like the status craving. a lot of dresses and the typical "oh that's so cute! aeropostale/hollister ish. or you know..."cute things".
But I like different..daring things. I know that obviously not every one is gonna dress like me. But it'd be cool to see something different, like New York. in the city, everyone has their own style. you know? at our old school, it was kinda like that. Here, it seems like dresses , and more dresses. tryna look all girly and girlfriend type and shit. come on, spice it up.
-the boys.
this is gonna be unbelievably low...but there's no hot boys here. you know..eye candy is good for you. it makes you smile and think of beautiful thoughts. haha..but no seriously, our last school's guys looked like MEN. like real sexy mouthafuckers. here...they look kinda like middle schoolers. (not to diss them or anything..I bet their real nice and stuff)
-the cafeteria.
our last school's cafeteria was huge, but organized and it was amazing. it was just amazing. nuff said. But here, it's quite small, but no organization. but that's okay. but it's just small..and exactly like middle school. This is high school...I don't want to feel like it's middle school AGAIN...
-no diversity.
our school had everything. black, latino, filipino, european, australian, south american, native american, chinese, indian...EVERYTHING. here? not so much. it's all white here. and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it'd be great to have some diversity...and a better spectrum of eye candy. (haha I know I'm low)
-the bus.
Our bus last year was so live. yes, it was crowded; but it's better than "no one but 2 people talking". damn, I miss our bus so much. people were loud, but when you compare it to silence..it's so much better. I like the fact that the bus driver puts on the radio, but other than that...my lord I miss my old buss..SOOOOO bad..
allright, allright; I'm done ranting. but it's probably not the end of the list. I really thank my parents for moving though; I hated the city feel of the other city...and I really hope that I adjust a little more to this school...
ugh...but all i can think about is the good times there...man.
well. that's it. takee caree.
(4)
Anyways, I miss my old school. so so so so so so so SO. MUCH. Spend some time in this school, and I fuckingggg hateee it. I tried to get kinda used to it...but for the time being...heeelllll noo.
And I know that this is gonna sound like one of those "regular stupid rants"...but man, I have so many feels about my old school now. It's crazy cause, you never know how amazing something (or someone) is, until it's (or they're) gone.
damn. To get to the point, here are some reasons why I'm not in love with my school.
-the complicated schedule.
Why can't you just do NORMAL block scheduling? "No we gotta be unique". It's all this weird stuff...and I mean, I've gone to high school from high school...and I swear this is hard as it gets. but it's okay I guess...I'll probably get used to it.
-the gymnasium.
oh the fun times in gym. all the pranks, flirting, jokes, checking out all the hot guys working out. Our gym last year was so vibrant. It had windows (up above) so the nice warmth of the sunlight would sparkle on the gym floor. and it was really big...and it was just...such a good feeling.
the gym at the new school is bogus. no color, no "life" , and it just seems boring. it's a little smaller...and it just doesn't feel right. errr. and I hate my teacher. luck for me, on top of that, she's pregnant this year. imagine.
-the girls.
I personally think you can tell a lot about a school just by the way the majority of the way the girls dress. Not the guys. Most guys will just put on whatever. in every school, there's the "status craving" guy who goes nuts over polos and nike; and there are others who come in wearing the same hoodie and jeans. but the girls. here, a lot of girls look kind of like the status craving. a lot of dresses and the typical "oh that's so cute! aeropostale/hollister ish. or you know..."cute things".
But I like different..daring things. I know that obviously not every one is gonna dress like me. But it'd be cool to see something different, like New York. in the city, everyone has their own style. you know? at our old school, it was kinda like that. Here, it seems like dresses , and more dresses. tryna look all girly and girlfriend type and shit. come on, spice it up.
-the boys.
this is gonna be unbelievably low...but there's no hot boys here. you know..eye candy is good for you. it makes you smile and think of beautiful thoughts. haha..but no seriously, our last school's guys looked like MEN. like real sexy mouthafuckers. here...they look kinda like middle schoolers. (not to diss them or anything..I bet their real nice and stuff)
-the cafeteria.
our last school's cafeteria was huge, but organized and it was amazing. it was just amazing. nuff said. But here, it's quite small, but no organization. but that's okay. but it's just small..and exactly like middle school. This is high school...I don't want to feel like it's middle school AGAIN...
-no diversity.
our school had everything. black, latino, filipino, european, australian, south american, native american, chinese, indian...EVERYTHING. here? not so much. it's all white here. and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it'd be great to have some diversity...and a better spectrum of eye candy. (haha I know I'm low)
-the bus.
Our bus last year was so live. yes, it was crowded; but it's better than "no one but 2 people talking". damn, I miss our bus so much. people were loud, but when you compare it to silence..it's so much better. I like the fact that the bus driver puts on the radio, but other than that...my lord I miss my old buss..SOOOOO bad..
allright, allright; I'm done ranting. but it's probably not the end of the list. I really thank my parents for moving though; I hated the city feel of the other city...and I really hope that I adjust a little more to this school...
ugh...but all i can think about is the good times there...man.
well. that's it. takee caree.
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