Hiya :)

Hiya :) (again) long time, eh?

Isn't it funny that on the night I should be doing studying, studying, studying...I get on here? and on the days I have nothing to do, I don't think about this..? huh. 

anywayss...howsss everyyoonneee?

me? you asked how I was doing? (not that you care or something). but pretty bad.

um, I just hate this school. gosh, how many times will I say it? Until I start liking it.
I hate it. really bad. like real. real. real. real. bad

everything about it. everything. the people are mean. there's no diversity. everything so bland. everyone here cares about education. 

well no dip, thats why its called SCHOOL. I understand that, but there should be a little fun too. this is a public, not a private school. there should be laughs, perv jokes, insiders, you know...stuff going on in the hallways. 

here it's just so black and white. no color. no smiles. no laughs. no happiness. well atleast for me. 

everyday's a bad day. damn, i hate it when people rant with emotional "feelings". and here I am, doing it. fuck it though. everyday's a bad day. I don't come home smiling, cause there's nothing to smile about. Or I don't even come home a neutral face...always kinda a sad face, cause I keep on getting dissed.

By teachers.

they'll be like "your way's great, BUT I like this way...and everybody...follow my method. i feel like her method is complicated and will take up more time." 

well thanks. 

grades are going down down down down down. I don't know why either.
math is crazy. I swear I know how to do graphs, but I ended up getting a 55 on a quiz. bad. real bad. others got 105. I still can't process it. 

I have a B in everything...I have like 2 C's, a zillion B's, and 2 A-. i'm trippin. so bad. so so so bad. and the quarter is about to end soon. my god..help me. and I have 3 tests tomorrow.

that's my problem! "You do this, and not study. no wonder your GPA's in the gutter". I know...but damn, it's so tempting. 

I still miss last year. everything about it. the house, the school, the bus stop, the people, the clothes, the smiles...everything. there, not everyday was a bad day. They were pretty good days in general. exciting, colorful, and something I look forward to going.

here, I'm scared to go to class. no really. i'm scared, I start to shake when I'm going to 5th block. 5th block is ap chemistry. and the reason why I'm scared is cause i'm stupid. the teacher randomly just calls on people, and she usually just throws questions that make no sense to myself at me.

and I choke a lot. I don't know what to say...cause I'm just so damn scared. I scared that my rep will start to become "the dumbest person in the class". which is understandable. but still..I just can't. 

I can't casually walk into this class. I get shivers, I don't know whats coming next, and i'm praying that time passes by quicker. not like "i'm bored, time pass", more like "please please, don't call on me, and the bell interrupt you or something".

this is the first time I'm actually scared to go to class. I don't know what I should be thinking about this. I just don't fuckin know. 

some reason, lots of people are bigots here. real bad. that's all. 

I just hate school.

but a friend told me today, that's it's actually possible to go and take like some classes at another school. it's not the school system or the city that has the problem...just the school.

I rethinked it again and again...and in the end, that's just crazy stupid. 

I'm gonna go through all this "class stuff" just cause I don't like people here? nah. but 3 more years.
I don't know how in the world i'm gonna make it. I just don't. 

i just hope that all this is a dream, sometimes. I wish I could just wake up one day, and I was back at my old city, and I'm ready to get ready to go to my old school. with my old friends, my old boy, my old classes, and the old, but amazing vibes of the school.

if only this was a dream
if only .. right?

allright. allright.
enough ranting. nuff spilling.

thanks for reading,
don't be a bigot
be nice
don't dress all prep (have some original style, please)
be open minded
have swag. not the rick kid swag. have the real swag.
don't be scared to go to class..like me.
study..don't get on blogger :D 
and pray on how these 3 years will go by faster...

more importantly, 
take care
smile
show some love
and represent.